I feel like I was born at a strange point in history in that I kind of sit between two generations of people: callers and texters. Granted, I think most people under the age of 35 use text messaging with some frequency, I think there’s a divide somewhere around people currently under the age of 26-27 and older folks as the older of the two groups tend to have a general understanding that there are times you call and times you text. The younger generation, however, seems to prefer texting above all — unless they’re calling mom and dad, whose texts are so riddled with typos it’s easier to just have a full blown conversation.
Since moving to San Francisco, I’ve gone out with three girls, 1-3 years younger than me. In each case, the girls would tell me to text them — not call them. I’m not a big believer in the “3 day rule” so I generally text the next day after a good date to tell them that I’m thinking of them and had a good time last night. In fact, sometimes I’ll send a text or two after getting home from the date if we left things on a particularly high note. But I find text messaging to be really fragmented and it’s tough after a while to really hold a conversation over it. At some point, I’d rather just call and ask a girl what she’s up to then sit on my couch and meditate over exactly how I should phrase every single text message I send.
But calling a girl, especially one in her early twenties has become taboo — it’s playing things to aggressively. But at the same time, I feel like I can’t quite get the rhythm of texting someone I don’t know very well — it’s too hard to know if they get when I’m joking or being serious. So after a while, I feel like I lose texting steam. I’d so much rather talk to them in person or on the phone. This gets worse between dates #2 and #3. I’m at that point with a girl right now and I feel like by not talking to her during the week, I’m hurting the chances that things will take off between us. I’d rather sustain the momentum somehow. Just not over text.
Am I the only one who has this problem? How do you keep the fire burning between dates? Especially when a girl only tends to be free on Friday and Saturday nights due to hectic work schedules. If I see her on one Friday and hope to see her the next Friday, how often do I need to send her messages in the meantime to ensure that whatever spark might’ve been there the first date will still be there the second date?
I’m getting too old for this shit.